Score: 10

"Time to blow me up some physics."

submission: MagnetiZR

date: December 18, 2009

Welcome...to the MagnetiZR review. I'm your host, Lazydaemon.

*Is using Afrew as a chair for his sins*

The genre says skill, but I say puzzle. Does that make a difference? Probably not. Here's how it is. I chose a game at random and I found yours, a game where you shoot goals by distorting the gravity in the area with magnets. Some people...*Glares at his seat*...seem to think the magnets don't work right. Well, if that were the case, how did I win? The answer: This game works as it should. It requires personal tweaking for your magnet setup, to allow your shots to go precisely where they need be. I guess that's where the skill part comes in. So, truth in advertising. Fair enough.

Now that I've debunked that, I'd like to say that - graphically - this game is very nice. It has a simple-but-difficuly premise, so I can see why the effects budget got more of a hand-out. (I kid, seriously. It's a nicely-built game, all around.) It just has a nice look to it. And...well, the only problem I have is that the white is a bit bright, but that's a personal taste calling in. (I like darkness.) The music was also good and I have no special comments to make about that.

To our friends who said in there that this game wasn't your style and you claimed you couldn't get it to work, I ask "Why did you review, then?". Seriously, those little aesthetic differences aren't the creator's fault. Expand yourself! And...I dunno...don't get stuck? Game works, so...I dunno what to say. Well, except perhaps...

TEN!

Score: 10

"But what WAS that first rock?"

submission: Tetraform

date: December 18, 2009

Just recalling a Dr. Who episode. So...

This game has hit my awesome list. I've seen...a few games similar, but only somewhat. I got myself a nice little planet there, and while I haven't gotten all five spikes at once, I will say that it was all in good fun. (The second boss kinda' rammed 'em away, you see.) The idea that you use attraction forces to kill all your enemies smartly is highly cool. I didn't even bother using a nuke! (Which, in retrospect, I should have since umm...medals. Yeah. Anyway!)

For those of you just tuning in, you will find this to be excellent planet-defense, with a good variety of enemies. Missles, rocket-firing ships, big bulky barges, lots of small vessels, some bomb-droppers, cloaking ships, and some weird purple things. The bosses are pretty damn cool, and tricky. However, I will say that they aren't very careful. The final boss kamikaze'd my spikes and died.

Nevermind. It's a good game and worth the front page. Five and Ten this thing!

Score: 10

"Obey the game!"

submission: Obey! The Game

date: December 18, 2009

A fun and fast-paced game that is easy to get into...once you get the hang of it. And then you don't get the hang of it, and then you do, and then it gets faster and faster and Aaaaaggghhh!!

*Relax-O-Vision Music*

This was alot of fun. I almost didn't stop there for a while. It gets good on ya, once you've figured out the right direction to leap or move, so that you could earn alot of lives with just a flicker on the keyboard. The music fit the theme, definitely, and I look forward to getting back to it later.

In the meantime, obey the Lazydaemon and vote 5!

Score: 9

"Most popular at parties!"

submission: Icebreaker

date: December 18, 2009

Since the guy who breaks the ice serves the drinks. Nevermind.

Hiya. So, I played through...26 levels of your game before getting stumped and I must say that I quite like it. It has a fun sort of challenge to it and the nuance behind it is not exactly common. It's a puzzle game, one which you can leave in the background paused if need-be. I have a certain love of those.

That being said, there were a COUPLE of things that bothered me. The cutting mechanism, while cool and all, was not always precise or accurate. There'd be this spot where I try to make a careful cut and it either doesn't go through with it or cuts too much. The other thing was about the weight of objects and such. For the most part, fine, but there were some moments where I'd shout "Physics!" and the game goes "Naw.", as the ice chunk that should've slid off and didn't.

But mostly good! So, here is your nine and my thanks.

Score: 10

"*Does the force-chock on Silverwhitefang*"

submission: Cat Vader

date: December 18, 2009

I find your lack of patience disturbing.

Maybe you missed the signpost where it said "Star Wars Parody" or that it was to be a Vader-joke. You can't have Vader without the breathing noises. That's a package deal. Complaining about it is like ordering stir-fry and then saying you don't like vegetables. It's all part of the taste. Don't blame the artist for sticking to the script.

*Releases him...for now*

I found this rather amusing. A cat with a Vader helmet is downright silly, and the way it's played was good for both the cat and Vader aspects of it. At the food scene, all I could think was "How would he eat, anyway?". The dog-barking scene was particularly hilarious.

That aside, I'm forced to think of my cat, a black Bombay cat. Name: Kit. You are now making me think of her talking to David Hasslehoff, and it is ridiculous. Kudos for that, even though you didn't intend it.

Score: 10

"IE is not causing problems."

submission: Ching Chong Beautiful

date: December 13, 2009

Not with me, anyway.

You know, we've all heard about these Japanese obstacle course games, and some of us have even watched 'em, but I'm going to have to say that the idea of playing one like this is pretty damn sweet. It has all the appeal of those gameshows, plus the amusement aspect of being the contestant who punts, knocks, and launches himself through the course with both an attitude of enthusiasm and "Oh crap, I'm gonna die!".

The graphics are highly decent as far as a cartoony flash game goes (which meets approval with me, at least). The music was fitting, and it worked for a platformer game. The level designs were, of course, holy-crap-to-yikes in flavor, which is good in this case. And the story? Well, the story's just funny. Why...do I keep thinking of the tower as Aku? In any case, I have to give this game it's highly-deserved due. Thus...

Hyouketsu go ken kouhyou juu!

Score: 10

"Physics!"

submission: Dynamite Blast

date: December 8, 2009

There are a number of games around in Newgrounds and elsewhere that have crap for physics and don't make sense how they work. Fortunately, your game physics are A-OK. Just letting you know. They're consistant, and make a rational sense of their own. I managed to get to level 28 before getting stumped, so it must all be working properly. You should probably have a bit more variety in your level-types, maybe, but I don't think we can boil you in oil for that. It was an amusing puzzler that I probably won't give up on AT LEAST until I finish it. It's neat and I like how you can shape the girders properly when necessary. That's useful and I like that that detail was put in there.

Score: 9

"Honey, I Shrunk The Game."

submission: shrink it

date: December 8, 2009

I like puzzle games. The best of them you can relax to, pause if necessary, and have plenty of time to consider your options. This is one such game and the novelty of it convinces me to rate it well. Shrink It is simple, but effective. I can think of a few games that are like it, but so what? It's a small but palpable little diversion of fun. The physics work, the music is okay, and the whole aspect of it doesn't seem to have any real problems to it.

Also, the last level is not as teeth-grinding some people might think.

I think the only thing it may suffer from is that it's really too short. My Gripe-O-Meter tells me that this isn't enough for me to put on the hurt. Since it lacks an obvious flaw, but isn't crazy-good, let's call it nine and say you did alright here.

Score: 10

"You have discovered my secret power."

submission: Microcosm

date: December 4, 2009

For I am The Writer, he who shapes the world and countless other worlds by words, thoughts, writing utensils. This is a great and magnificent power. So try to have fun with it. That aside, let's get down to your review.

It's funny, 'cause...I was somehow expecting this to lead into a weird chain of events that would end the world. (Okay, so it DID, but not in the manner I expected.) The title, Microcosm, indicated to me that alot of little things would be happening around our hero to make a huge mess that led back to his bump in the wall.

Instead, we find something just as awesome, and the fact that I didn't exactly expect it made it even better. The Fourth Wall is a dangerous dimension to mess with, and I like how this sort of plot played out. Also, for the record, Comix Zone was a freakin' awesome game, innovative and original, so using that as an inspiration here is freakin' WIN.

Being that in mind, the whole ordeal was well-animated and well-told. Sure, it was black and white, but should people really care about that? Nah. 'Sides, it works when in constrast with the ending. All the music selected here was just about recognizable, yet highly appropriate, given the circumstances.

On a final note, I find it amusing how they were trying to kill him and all. The trouble is that a character whose broken the Fourth Wall so much that his world's physics fall apart can't BE killed. He's no longer ruled by the narrative. That alone made it great. Good job.

Score: 10

"Whoa...wait a second."

submission: Madness Combat 5.5

date: November 22, 2009

*Recalls two guys in a car, then recalls two OTHER guys in a truck*

Aha... Now, of course, I already knew that the Madness story was screwed up, but I didn't know we'd be expanding the already-warped dimensions of it to get in a little backstory. That being the case, the term I wanna use is coolness factor. I like that you're keeping at it and even doing more for Madness than most of us probably expected. In other words, the awesomesauce is you. Because people like the violence and crazyness of Madness. Can't wait to see more.